"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."~Maya Angelou

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Happy Father's Day, Mom!

It is time again for another celebration this weekend, this time one for the dads. My children are still pretty young, and don't quite fully understand the concept, but they are excited to celebrate "Dad", and do some fun dad stuff. We got to go out on a nearby lake this morning, do some fishing, some sun soaking and some swimming. My husband is a great father, and I am so proud of the dad he is. No matter what he always makes time for our children, even on his most tired days, because he loves them like no other, and he is honored to be their dad. He is a great partner to have, I can count on him to help me with the kids, or around the house, if there is anything I ever needed all I would have to do is ask, and he would do anything in his power to make it happen. Of course we are a "normal" married couple, with our ups and downs, but through it all we have determined that we love our little family, and at the end of the crazy day, we want to be together. I am so lucky to have him, and I can't imagine how hard it would be if I didn't.

Which leads me to my next thought, and the reason I am writing this blog today. Single mothers. I was raised by one, actually my older brother and I, and she is the most amazing, heroic, inspiring woman I know. She did it all, everyday, by herself. Her mother, my grandmother, was able to help, and I am so thankful my mom had her nearby. My grandmother was there for support, and to help my mom take care of us so she could go back to school and receive her 4 yr degree. She was a single mom, who worked full time, had two children and still managed to get her degree. Simply amazing. What is most amazing to me, is I look back on my childhood and smile, as it was one of the best childhoods anyone could ever ask for. You name it, my mom made it fun. Birthday's, holiday's, vacations, anything. She was always meticulous about the little things; making sure my milk was pink the morning of my birthday, decorating the tree after I went to bed on Christmas Eve, just to keep the tradition alive that Santa came and decorated it. Teaching me how to drive a stick in big old parking lot, and not once losing her patience while I gave her the slightest case of whip lash. I remember smiles, laughs, snuggling with her on the couch, helping both of us with our school work, being a support system when my heart was broken. She still is my best friend. She was my mother, and my father, and never have I felt for a second that I was missing a parent, or that there should have been someone else there. She did it effortlessly, or at least it seemed so to me, and I guess that's all that matters. I know it was so hard for her, but she never let us know it for a second. It is now, at this point in my life, as I have two young children to take care of, and a partner to do it with, that I sit and wonder how the heck she pulled it off. To say thank you just doesn't seem enough, but I will say it anyway. Thank you to my mom, for giving me the best opportunities you could, for caring for my brother and I with such a strong, unwavering love, for giving us a childhood that was full and complete in every way.

When Father's day rolls around every year, not once have I ever felt sad for a "missing parent". I smile and think of my mom, who gave me the most incredible start in life, who played the part of not only mom, but dad, and I never knew the difference. I celebrate my husband who makes his children squeal with laughter, and my mom, who made me who I am today.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Father (and Mother) Time

        I find myself wondering if I have the time. Time to write a new blog. Time to bake something with my kids. Time to clean my house. Time to go grocery shopping. Then I stop and look at my children, who just a minute ago were squishy little babies, and are now a thriving and energetic combination of 41/2 and 2. Not to mention my step daughter, who was also just born yesterday, will be 7 this summer. How did the time go so quickly?

        I work part time at a preschool, a job that I adore. I have chosen to work part time there to be home with my children more, and lucky for me they will start attending the school this summer, and through the next school year. I am so blessed to be with them as much as I am. I also started my own home business, in the hopes to continue to be "at work" less and "at home" more, but not losing any income. Working from home takes time too, and that at moments has been challenging for me to figure out. You have to stay focused and driven, just like at any job, and my squishy little babies are pretty awesome motivation to keep my business thriving!

        Back to time. We all crave more of it. We are all a bit fearful of it. We all try to enjoy every moment of it. And time does fly. I am nervous my "babies" will wake up as teenagers at any moment...and what about my 17 year old nephew?  Just yesterday, I remember riding my old 10 speed down to the hospital to hold him for the first time.  Time is amazing, it is powerful, and it is limited. We all think we have all kinds of it, but the truth is time can stop for anyone at any moment. Now, don't get me wrong, I am certainly not trying to be morbid here, but I am trying to make a point. We need to stop living in a land of "THERE'S NO TIME!" Vow to yourself, today, to never say those words again. Because here's a little secret....there is always time. You get home from work, walk through the door, the kids are running around, one is having a sizable tantrum and the other is screaming for a snack and you jump right in to "get things done". Did you stop and hold your spouse and kiss them hello? Did you stop and greet each child with a smile, a hello and maybe if your lucky a hug and kiss? Or are you one of those people who say, I would have liked to but there was no time? You have to understand that there is always time. It only takes a moment or two to look someone in the eye and tell them you love them. To make a connection with your partner, and verbally or non verbally let them know you are so glad to see them. Then, feel free to change a diaper and clean up the spilled juice, while switching the laundry and slicing some cucumbers.

        My point here folks is that all of us complain, probably on a daily basis that we don't have enough time for x, y or z. We need to realize that we all have the power to make time, to prioritize what's really important. Isn't it more important to play with your kids, enjoy their bath time and snuggle them up as you tuck them into bed? Of course it is. There is time for it all. There is time for me to work out of the home, as well as in the home, be a full time mom and wife, and play with my kids. A year ago I would have sworn differently, but I 've figured it out. (Well, some of it ). Now all you have to do is stop and take the time to figure it out for yourself. :)